Archive for January, 2011

Quick Note for Brooding Monsters with Tortured Pasts

So I just finishing up watching New Moon.  I love the series, even though I don’t love everything about it.  The ending is pretty great.

Anyway, it made me think about the books I read, the movies I watch based on those books or not, and TV shows, too, and I just wanted to say that if someone wants to play a hero with a dark side who falls in love with someone despite himself, I know where he should get his notes from.

Christopher Eccleston as Doctor Who, Series 1.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think anybody else does it as well. Wait, I have a second person in mind, but I’ll try to stick where I am for a minute.  I know if you’re a Ten fan, you’re probably thinking I’m nuts to leave him out, but I’ll always feel like Ten had gotten his act together to the point where he knew being in love with Rose wasn’t really the greatest idea, so he sort of held himself in check and went about his business as much as he could.  Therefore, if he really was in love with Rose, it was way too subtle.  It almost seemed like he showed his feelings more when she wasn’t around to witness them.

Now look back to Series 1.  There was a Doctor who wasn’t about to feel something for a human.  Captain Tortured Past, coming right out of the Time War, lost his entire species, completely bitter…he invited Rose along because she persisted and finally  impressed him, plus he was seriously lonely.  But I don’t think he intended to feel anything for her at all.  It just sort of…happened.  Anyway I just liked his emotional intensity and brutal honesty towards her, and the way you could tell that she became precious to him, though he never did anything about it.  I don’t think I’m wording this right, but it isn’t like I planned this.  Just a thought.

Second example has to be Jason Dohring as Logan Echolls in Veronica Mars.

From what I read, they never even meant for him to be a main character, and then he took over the freakin’ series.  Tortured past?  Abusive father, neglectful mother, getting dumped by his girlfriend who then turned up murdered…you don’t always need paranormal circumstances to fit the bill.  His was a different version, starting the series with the intention of hating and torturing the heroine, only to unexpectedly develop powerful feelings of the exact opposite kind.

These are the two best examples that I can think of, and right now I feel like everybody else falls flat.  Yeah, this means you, Edward.

Since When Does “Sex and the City” Suck?

Disgusting pun certainly not intended.  The title is not the actual question I should be asking anyway.  Rather, what ever happened to my affection-bordering-on-obsession for the show?  I ask, because since the addition of the last two movies (the 2nd of which I’ve yet to even see) and after having caught most of the viciously cut reruns on TBS (or worse, the massacred and thankfully short-lived ones on the CW), I find myself having made an almost complete 180 degree turn to a new opinion which actually approaches disdain.

Maybe I just answered my own question, but I’ll start at the beginning anyway to be sure.

I first watched Sex and the City when I was living at home, and therefore still able to afford HBO.  There I watched each hour-long episode, filled with all the sex and profanity that only an HBO program can offer, and I fell in love.  For me, it wasn’t about 4 rich, self-satisfied, Manhattanite snobs.  It was about the pain and fear and humiliation that a single woman sometimes  suffers while she struggles not to settle for less than true love or maybe just to be herself without giving in to the mores of society.  It was about the way that women can support each other through it with compassion, understanding, and humor.  For all that the show was supposed to be comedy, it was the more serious moments that defined it in my eyes.

So, was I a “Carrie”, a “Miranda”, a “Charlotte”, or a “Samantha”?

I could never decide.  Throughout the six seasons, I ended up relating to each of them at one point or another.  Though I consider myself more of an Aidan girl than a Mr. Big one, I understood what it was like for Carrie to be desperately in love with someone with whom she would never know where she  stood.  I knew what Miranda felt, watching her best friend deeply involved with a man who had broken her before and almost certainly would again, how frustrating not to be able to protect her from herself, and the painful fights it could cause.  I got how Charlotte tried so hard to hold onto her childhood ideals of romance and a Prince Charming, until she finally realized that a perfect facade had nothing to do with what really mattered to her.

And, as for Samantha…I’d rather not say.  My family reads this blog!  😉

The finale of this show was one of my all-time favorite finales, despite having never been that much of a Mr. Big fan.  Like I said, I saw him most clearly through Miranda’s eyes at the time, as someone who was always going to care for himself just that much more.  Weirdly enough, I was able to see him  more clearly as Carrie did once I sawThe Way We Were with Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford.  I only became interested after  she’d compared her relationship with the movie in the episode, Ex and the City.  From there I imagined Big as Hubbell, drawn to Carrie’s intensity and seeming to wish the entire time that he wasn’t.  The only difference is that as far as I can tell, Katie loved Hubbell because despite his tremendously attractive yet completely shallow trappings, his writing proved that he also had a soul.  I don’t know what Big had ever done to prove that he had one, but maybe Carrie was more easily impressed than Katie.

I’m digressing.  Quite a bit, really.  Fun, though.

Ahem.  Anyway, I love anything that can excite my emotions and draw me in, and Sex and the City fit that bill.  Yet with the loss of my HBO connection, I’ve had to resort to basic cable and clearly you get what you pay for.  There are simply too many things that have to be cut.  Storylines are hinted at instead of told because there isn’t enough time and obviously the erotic or profane elements have to be left out.  If you look at each little loss singularly it isn’t a big deal, but put them together and you are left with stories with giant missing pieces, characters censored to the point of emptiness (with weird voice-overs), and the show’s trademark bad-pun humor (that was always there; I just never liked it).  Those who watch this hacksaw version for their first  exposure to the series can be forgiven for not being overly impressed.

Then there are the movies.  When I heard about the first I was excited but had to admit I couldn’t imagine a storyline that actually needed telling when all the ends had been tied so neatly in that fantastic finale.  So I saw it and liked it, but it clearly wasn’t on the same level.  I love angst, and Carrie’s annihilation by Big certainly touched my heart, but I wasn’t thrilled with the situations that got them there in the first place.  Honestly, would you have believed during the series that Carrie would throw a wedding and completely forget about Big in the planning?  Isn’t that what she wanted to accuse Natasha of in Season 2?  And while it is realistic that Miranda would turn into a negligent workaholic and Steve whining and lonely, it is also disappointing, and seemed a tired echo of what they’d already gotten through when they were first dating.

With that in mind, when the second movie came out, I tried and failed to be interested.  What on earth could there possibly be left to say?  The trailers convinced me that it wasn’t anything good.  I love Aidan, but everybody is supposed to be happily married at this point, and as bad as Big used to be for Carrie, she was always far worse for Aidan.  Nobody deserves to be #2 to their only #1.  Not to mention that for the first time I was turned off by the fabulous excess for which the girls are famous.  Timing is everything, and 2010 was a rough freakin’ year.  Yet let me watch 4 rich chicks  parade around in the desert in their Manolos, a somehow necessary escape from perfect lives, since God knows when you already have success and true love, you get bored.  I wouldn’t know anything about that.

The point is, none of this should take away from an incredible six season show, and it’s a shame that somehow it has.  Financial situations being what they are right now, I’m guessing I’m not the only one who had to step down from HBO.  Yet in my most Carrie-like fashion, I can’t help but wonder if the DVD set wouldn’t be a nice addition to next year’s Christmas list.  With my own access to the real deal, maybe I’ll finally be able to remember Sex and the City as the phenomenon it really was, instead of the half-hearted pun-fest it artificially became.

My Top Ten Episodes of the New Doctor Who

So I thought I’d make a list of my favorite episodes, from Davies through Moffat.  (Makes sense, I’ve never seen any of the others.)  I’ve tried to give a reason for each without giving too much away for those who haven’t seen them (but there are some spoilers), and then added a little dialogue.  I also completely cheated, by including two-parters as one episode, thereby giving me an excuse to list more favorites.  😉  So what, come at me, bro.

1. Dalek – Series 1, Episode 6, written by Robert Shearman – This was the first episode where I realized I’d crossed the line from ‘watching this because my roommate put it on’ to being an actual fan. Hats off to the dalek for looking more ridiculous than any villain I’ve ever seen in my life and still managing, by the end of this episode, to impress me as a hard-core, death-dealing badass. Shearman and Eccleston convinced me in one intense, dramatic hour that this plunger-wielding trash bin was serious business.

The Doctor: What’s the nearest town?
Henry Van Statten: Salt Lake City.
The Doctor: Population?
Henry Van Statten: One million.
The Doctor: All dead. If the Dalek gets out it’ll murder every living creature; that’s all it needs.
Henry Van Statten: But why would it do that??!!
The Doctor: Because it honestly believes they should die.

2. Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways – Series 1, Episode 13, written by Russell T. Davies – This might actually be my favorite episode. Daleks wiping everybody out, Captain Jack’s last stand, Rose’s inability to give up, and then of course, the Bad Wolf was amazing. The part where the dalek shoots and she stops it with her hand?? “All things must come to dust…I want you safe…My Doctor.”

Rose: No, I didn’t mean that! But it was… it was a better life. And I – I don’t mean all the travelling and… seeing aliens and spaceships and things – that don’t matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. (to Mickey) You know, he showed you too. That you don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what’s right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can’t–


3. New Earth – Series 2, Episode 1, Davies – I don’t know if this is a fair choice, since I thought the ending was kind of ridiculous. Honestly, you just spray the vaccine cocktail on one person and then it gets passed along by touch? Lame. But Cassandra, and by that I mean Billie Piper and David Tennant as Cassandra, was just too much fun. Hilarious ep, very entertaining, and for me, sometimes that’s enough.

The Doctor: You were supposed to be dying.
The Face of Boe: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait.
Cassandra: Oh I hate telepathy. Just what I need; a headful of Big Face!

4. Tooth and Claw – Series 2, Episode 2, Davies – Of course I would like a werewolf ep, and the guy in the cage really did scare me when he was talking to Rose, and when he was changing and they were all chained up. I was impressed that this family show could actually freak me out that much. Good stuff!

Sir Robert: Nevertheless, that creature won’t give up, Doctor, and we still don’t possess an actual weapon!
The Doctor: Oh, your dad got all the brains, didn’t he?
Rose: Being rude again!
The Doctor: Good, I meant that one. You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! This room’s the greatest arsenal we could have – arm yourselves!

5. Love and Monsters – Series 2, Episode 10, Davies – Even though the Doctor and Rose were barely in this one and the ending was kind of sad and disturbing, I couldn’t resist the character Elton, who was charming and loveable. The “I said not Blue!!” part was pretty funny, too. 🙂

The Doctor: [Upon appearing from the TARDIS. To Elton] Someone wants a word with you.
Rose: You upset my mum!
Elton: [glances at the Abzorbaloff] …great big absorbing creature from outer space, and you’re having a go at me?
Rose: No one upsets my mum.

6. Army of Ghosts/Doomsday – Series 2, Episode 13 & 14, Davies – had no idea what the ghosts were and was shocked by that, and by what came out of the void ship, but it was awesome to see them go against each other. Beyond that, I need only 3 words: Bad. Wolf. Bay. :’-(

Rose: The first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all, not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor. A man who could change his face. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end.
The Doctor: [with Rose on an alien planet] How long are you going to stay with me?
Rose: Forever.

7. Partners in Crime – Series 4, Episode 1, Davies – the mime scene with Donna was, for me, the funniest scene in any of the five seasons that I’ve seen yet, and that is saying something. The Rose cameo was so unexpected that my heart jumped in my chest.

The Doctor: …With Martha, like I said, it got… complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate!
Donna: You’re not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want a mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, cos I’m not having any of that nonsense! You’re just a long streak of…nothing!

8. Turn Left – Series 4, Episode 11, Davies – this episode interested me, partly because I’d been waiting the entire season for Rose to come back, but partly because of the idea that making a different choice (especially the one between having faith in yourself or having none) would have such a drastic effect on the world. “There’s something on your back!” Delightfully creepy.

Wilfred: Sweetheart, come on. You’re not gonna make the world any better by shouting at it.
Donna: I can try.

9. The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End – Series 4, Episodes 12 & 13, Davies – Great fun to see all the companions and Harriet Jones, whom I always liked and felt sorry for in Christmas Invasion. I liked the end-of-the-world desperation that both episodes had.  Loved the reunion of Rose & the Doctor (though how could I not, being the big Rose-Doctor shipper that I am), and everything that followed for them, though it certainly took getting used to.

Human Doctor: You made me.
The Doctor: Exactly, you were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone? That’s me when we first met, and you made me better. Now you can do the same for him.
Rose: But he’s not you.
The Doctor: He needs you, that’s very me.

10. The Lodger – Series 5, Episode 11, written by Gareth Roberts – I was having trouble with Moffat’s Who, and part of that was Matt Smith, who I could not see as a 900 year old Time Lord. However, in this one Smith was particularly irresistible and I found myself finally and completely won over. There is also a sweet love story, and the scene where the Doctor transfers memories through a head-butt has definitely made my top 10 funniest Doctor Who scenes ever. 😀

Craig: If you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout. [winks]
The Doctor: [winks back, pause] … Why would I want that?
Craig: Well, in case you want to bring someone over? Like a girlfriend, or… [looks at the Doctor’s clothes] boyfriend?
The Doctor: Oh! Oh, yes, yes, I will. I will shout, something like… “I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!”

Why Rose Kissed the Wrong Doctor (SPOILERS)

(Total spoilers for season 1, 2, and 4 in this post; there is, in fact, no point in reading this post at all if you have not watched all of Doctor Who, Seasons 1-4.  The following clip is from Journey’s End.)

You have to look at things from Rose’s point of view.  Of course, from the outside in, you might think she’d betrayed the Doctor when she’d kissed that human hybrid.  Why would she do that, you wonder?  It wasn’t his hand that she’d been holding all those times before the devastation at Canary Wharf.  Not his arms she’d thrown herself into time and time again, even most recently when they’d finally, finally reunited, after she’d worked so hard to get back to him.  No matter how much the two men look and think alike, this guy is a stranger and the actual Doctor was standing right there.  Besides, you might rightfully point out, it isn’t as if she had loved the Doctor only in that one form; that body, that man.  No, their bond had been formed and solidified before he ever had brown eyes, great hair, and a suit.  Did she forget him?  That original Doctor in Rose’s life?

So go back with her.  Remember what her life was like before Nine.  Working as a shop girl, dating a boy she’d known her entire life, having given up on college, taking care of herself and living with her mother, watching the men come and go because her father was long dead.  Anyone can imagine where a life like that would have led without the influence of extraordinary circumstances to intervene.  How did the Doctor put it?  Get up, go to work, come home, watch TV, eat chips, and go to bed only to start the same the next day.

Then this man shows up, and maybe they made a really odd pair, because you can bet she never expected to feel anything like that for him.  Compare him with Mickey, and see that he wasn’t exactly her type.  Too old, too snappish…but she knew he was special right away, and it wasn’t long before she understood the extent of his loneliness.  She saw the pain in him and realized that she could fill some of that void, heal some of that pain.  Rose was tough when she needed to be, but it would be hard to find a softer, kinder heart.

It had to be gratifying, later, to realize that she’d become important to someone so obviously vital and unique himself, not just in the world but in the Universe.  They shared things that no one else could possibly understand.  The 9th Doctor  was always aware of her, watching what she did and said, saving her when she got into trouble, celebrating with her when she did something clever, and always challenging her to be her best self.  This is a guy who saved and damned entire worlds while she watched.  Try having a relationship with someone like that, just you and that person, together against the Universe.  She knew she was never going back to her ordinary life.  Not even death in some foreign world or time was scarier than that.

Except he sent her back, didn’t he?  Because her death would be  a worthy sacrifice in her eyes, but not in his.  Better that she lived somewhere, somehow.  Better that she finished out her days with her loved ones.  He would gladly die alone, knowing she was able to live.

Now here’s where you need to pay attention, you need to really remember what happened.  This girl, this young girl, was home safe with her mother, with her boyfriend, where she belonged, right?  He’d done it; he’d rescued her, impossibly, from an entire fleet of daleks, and then sent her away in his own time machine, dooming himself to save her.

Recall now what she did about it.  The idea of leaving him there to die alone was completely unbearable to her.  She was freaking out, sick with the desperate knowledge that he was alone, sacrificing himself with no hope of rescue.  She got into that Tardis, and while she didn’t know the danger of looking into its heart, nor did she care.  She just had to get to him, at any cost.  And she did, and she saved him, saved the future human race, and, incidentally, turned Captain Jack Harkness nearly immortal.

Except…she still lost the Doctor.  All that effort and he was still gone and she’d never see him again, not that way, not ever.  She didn’t even know it was coming; she’d no earthly idea what he was babbling about before he burst forth with golden light and became someone entirely different.

Take a second before going forward and think what that would be like, to lose someone like that.  Yes, it wasn’t long before she realized this new man was, in fact, her Doctor.  Yet is that really so?  The Doctor himself would say that each time he regenerates, a new man walks away.  SOMETHING dies.  He is always surprised to find he still looks human, in fact.  So the man who found her, who changed her entire life, who shared so much with her that they became like a married pair, was gone.   In dreams, she must’ve still seen his face…

But it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.  In this case, Rose, quite literally, had made him a new man.  When she’d met him, he’d been bitter and hard, formed by his experiences in the Time War, haunted by the shattering knowledge that he’d been the one to end the existence of his own people, filled with cutting loneliness in a world that didn’t know or care to know that he even existed.  Being with Rose had shown him differently, and loving her…for he did love her, something he’d been aware of at least since the dalek soldier had pointed it out when holding her captive in that underground museum…loving her had changed him even more.  He was happy to sacrifice himself to save someone as sacred as she had become to him…and that sacrifice made him into a happier, lighter version of himself.

Here is where things get complicated.  Her time with her first Doctor had made her love him quite unexpectedly, something she wasn’t even aware of until she thought she’d lost him for good.  Yet here he is again, except this time…well, a little more her type.  Physically.

It didn’t really help that other women kept “connecting” with him all the time.  This had started in his old form too, that floozy “Lynda with a y” who wanted to jump aboard his ship at the Bad Wolf Corporation.  Okay, so she died there.  And maybe she wasn’t a floozy.  But he’d liked her hadn’t he?  Rose had been less than thrilled.  With his tenth regeneration, she’d have more chances to feel less than thrilled.  Less rude, more charm, that was part of the problem.

Except this isn’t infatuation, this is love, and when it is mutual you know it.  Rose knew it.

So we skip way ahead to Canary Wharf, where she made that choice that women sometimes must make, when you can either follow the man you love into a scary, unknowable future or stay your mother’s child, safe and sound in a familiar world.  Rose never even blinked, not when it came down to it.  Maybe if she’d had more time to wallow over it…but it was do or die and she knew she’d rather die than lose him.  But this time she forced him to agree.  He was angry with her, because he didn’t want to be the reason she lost everything…yet he let her.  He wanted her to stay, too.

Only she lost him anyway.  Again.

And this time the separation seemed irrevocable, the heartbreak made worse by an even further closeness.  They’d been through so much…and she’d chosen him, chosen him forever.  Even if he’d already known it was never going to work, when you love someone, sometimes you take what you can get.  Not that she’d have accepted anything else.

In so much pain was she, that she followed his voice in her dreams to the literal end of the earth.  There wasn’t a choice, not for her.  Only it was just for a good bye, and a lousy one at that.  She couldn’t touch him.  She could only fall apart, and finally say out loud the unspoken truth between them.  Yet they’d be cut off before he could say it back.  Not cold comfort, no comfort at all.

The End.


Give me a break.  Who would believe that Rose, the chick who drove the Tardis back to the center of a dalek fleet, would have given up?   Can you see her doing that?  Accepting what had happened, maybe striking up her relationship with Mickey again, working for Torchwood and getting to know the father she’d never had?  I wonder if it even fleetingly crossed her mind.

Because I bet instead that she was already thinking that if they’d found a way before to cross worlds, they could do it again.  Her father was an important man in Torchwood, and she’d been the Doctor’s companion.  Surely they’d want her help.  Surely they’d be willing to help her in return.

Of course, the Doctor had said it was wrong to do it, that Universes could collapse and the Worlds, all Worlds, might just end.  He wouldn’t want her to take that chance.  He had been so mad at Torchwood; if they’d never done such things, he wouldn’t have lost Rose in the first place.  Not then, not that way.

Well, I think she’d have done it anyway and just let him be mad about it.  Let him sulk and stew, but she’d be with him again and he’d just have to get over it.  I’m betting that when the stars started going out and she realized what it meant, she only doubled her efforts.  I’m betting she’d have crossed the worlds regardless.  The fact that they needed him only meant she had to move quicker.

So she’d crossed worlds, and faced untold dangers, and rewritten history…all to see him.  To be with him.

To hold his hand.

When she thought he was going to regenerate in front of her, yet again, she’d been frantic.  She knew, KNEW, that this next doctor would be like starting all over again.  And she is only human.  Her feelings, her heart, can’t keep up with all the changes and whose to say this new Doctor would feel a thing for her?   Fortunately, he stayed himself and at long last she was able to hold him, be held by him.  Then she stood at his side:  while he watched the Tardis supposedly destroyed; when they towed the Earth back where it belonged.

So back where this started.  At Bad Wolf Bay a second time, when she realized he’d brought her back to the world she’d fought so hard to escape and he told her she had to stay there…with “him”.  This fake, second Doctor.  She had but moments to try and understand.

Here was this human hybrid Doctor…and she stared and tried to find a difference and could not, because there just aren’t any.  He had all the memories, as if he’d been through everything with her when he certainly had not.  Even the ones from before…from the first Doctor.  He had those, too.

But that’s the crux of why it is so wrong.  Because she’d been in love with the Doctor before he had this face, this body.  It was not this incarnation that she loved, but the Doctor himself, and he was saying she’d never see him again.  But he loved her and she knew it!  It was wrong.

Only he wasn’t going to even try to say it this time, not ever.  Why hurt himself with the admission?  What was the point?  In over 900 years, he’d learned something that young Rose was never going to be able to accept; love does not conquer all.  It couldn’t conquer the fact that they were different species.  He was never going to be able to settle down and grow old with Rose, much as he might have liked the chance.  She was going to grow old and die and all he could do was watch; he’d told her that, hadn’t he?

So, fine.  He could give her this, and in a way, he could give it to himself.  Some other world, where he could love her the way he wanted to, be with her properly, live and die together…and if it meant he had to watch her fling herself into the arms of some mirror-image man…if it meant he could never see her again, touch her hand, hear her voice…well, maybe he just would rather take most of the pain onto himself, rather than let her waste her life on a man who wasn’t human, whom she eventually would have to lose anyway.

Okay, that is his logic, but our Rose, our fighter, our crosser of worlds, why would she ever give in?  She’d never listened to him before, right?  Why start now?

Well, maybe she didn’t mean to.  It wasn’t supposed to be like that.  She was supposed to fling herself at him, her Doctor, the proper Doctor, and tell him that he was right; it doesn’t need saying, not when it can be expressed with one true kiss.  The kiss should have been his.

Rose would have done that, probably meant to do that.  But maybe he’d been telling her for so long that they couldn’t work it out.  He was always going to do his own thing.  And if you think she’d ever forgotten Sarah Jane and the hard lesson she’d learned at that school, you’d be wrong.  How long was he going to keep her around?  She’d been willing to deal with that later, and he said it was different with her, right? Except it didn’t seem like she believed that.  One day there’d be another Madame Pompadour and she’d be left as a dinner lady in some time where she didn’t belong…

Okay, maybe not.  And the chance to grow old with the human Doctor wasn’t enough to blind her to the fact that he wasn’t her Doctor.  So what did it?  What tipped the scales…?

Look again.  It was the Doctor.  He was looking down at her with those same sorrowful dark eyes.  He’d taken her hand, just as he’d always done, and it’d felt the same as it always felt.  He’d leaned in, he’d said…

You can’t imagine how much it would have meant, but try.  She’d been waiting, waiting so long to hear those words.  She’d said them herself and then he’d been gone…

Her reaction must be forgiven.

Veronica Mars: Way Too Hard on Logan

I recently re-watched Veronica Mars, seasons 1 and 2.  Then I watched only the parts of season 3 that were pertinent to LoVe, because lets face it, the plot that season was pretty tiresome (oh, no, rapist on the loose, that’s so different except that it isn’t at all).  With the relationship history now fresh in my mind, I realized I was disappointed in the way Veronica almost seems reluctant to love Logan back, especially in season 3.  Did she ever even say the actual words, “I love you”, in any of those 3 seasons?  I know he said it to her.    It got me thinking that perhaps, although she certainly loved Logan more than Lily did, maybe she wished that she didn’t.

Here’s a heart-breaking scene between them from season 3 that illustrates the problem perfectly:

From his side, the scene shows his unwavering dedication to her and the depth of his love, and also how well he knows exactly how she thinks.  Yet you can also see her frustration and a lot of reluctance.

Logan:  I love you, Veronica.  I love you.  Do you love me?

Veronica:  (pause)  yeah…

Real nice.

It interests me because the same impulsive, violently protective instincts that allowed him to save her ass so many times were annoyingly inconvenient the few times she didn’t need saving.  But you can’t have it both ways, right?  He’s a human being; somehow his ultra-privileged, yet totally abusive upbringing created someone who is overflowing with a need to lash out, only eclipsed by his need to be loved.  He has the confidence to step into any situation and is devil-may-care to the point of suicidal.   And yes…the arrogance  and self-destructive tendencies lead to many mistakes.

For instance, can I really blame her in that same season for not being able to get over him sleeping with Madison, the same girl who drugged her drink in season 1?  Let me tell you how it works in real life.  When the person you love most, who is supposed to love you most, whom you have trusted with your innermost self, cohorts for any reason or length of time with someone who has violated you in any way, it is as if they are helping that person to humiliate you further.  Topping it off, you aren’t left with many options about what they could have been thinking.  You can’t get past that they knew better, that they knew how you would feel and yet they could do it anyway.  Their selfishness is overwhelming, and although you have the sense that due to how important the person is to your heart, you will have to find a way around this somehow, you also can’t fathom what that way might be.  No, you have to get away from them.  You just can’t be around that person at all.

This does not mean you stopped loving them.  It doesn’t mean you can shut them out forever.  No, true, real love is not so easily slain and that is not romanticism, that is a fact.  False moves, no matter how hurtful, can’t undo the loving memories that came before.  And sometimes the heart is stubbornly faithful.  Plus, back to the context, Logan is the one who broke up with Veronica because it was tearing him up how often he disappointed her, how his love just wasn’t ever enough to make up for his volatile nature.

It never had been, or at least she’d never wanted it to be.  From the beginning she’d always begged him to tone it down.  She was afraid of his unpredictability, that barging into any situation guns (literally) blazing was going to get him killed someday, maybe while trying to protect her, making it her fault.  She didn’t live by the same rules that he did, so she seemed afraid sometimes that he might drag her down with him.  Yet just the same, there were things they’d both been through that couldn’t be forgotten.  And how do you turn your back on somebody that loves you so intensely?  I don’t think Logan would ever learn how to shut that off.  Much as he could man-whore around like nobody’s business, or destroy things around him with ease when he felt like it, I think he’d grown up wanting to be able to protect someone the way he hadn’t been protected and to love someone as desperately as he’d wanted to be loved.  Lily hadn’t loved him enough.  I don’t know if even Veronica was capable of returning that intensity.  Yet I don’t think she would’ve been able to permanently turn her back on it either.

It makes you wonder if Logan would have died young; his risky approach to life makes it probable.  Maybe that would’ve been the only way for Veronica to be released and allowed to pursue a more mundane and easygoing relationship, such as the rest of us have.  Like it or not, with him around she wasn’t going to find someone else; maybe he was hard to love but he’d be just as difficult to replace.  Any feelings someone could have for her would always pale in comparison to Logan’s (poor Piz is a prime example—the guy Veronica thought she should be with).  There wouldn’t be anyone who could know her so well.  And you could see that even apart, he’d be the one to find her when she needed him.

Besides, finding another guy who would put up with her own dangerous tendencies would’ve been reasonably challenging anyway.  Maybe she just hadn’t had a chance to find that out.  Where else was she going to find someone as smart as she was and as brave?  The White Knight is a dying breed these days.  Who else could challenge her the way he did?  And let’s face it, bad boys are always better in bed; he’d been bad for a very long time.

I think she would’ve kept finding her way back to him.  I think all these reasons piled up against her so that she was drawn to him over and over, despite her best intentions.  Swear Logan off like a drug, Veronica Mars, only to come face to face with the magnitude of his love and crumble before it.

“Being Human” Crosses the Pond

I’ll be honest.  I said I wasn’t going to watch this show at all out of loyalty to the BBC version, which I absolutely adore.  But…it just happened to be on and I just happened to be sitting here…whatever.  Here’s my take, as much as I could get from a single episode:

First off, the werewolf character “George” from the BBC version is my sweet, bumbling favorite.  I didn’t have much hope for his American counterpart, Josh, but I was pleasantly surprised.  True, his voice never cracks in that funny way that George’s does (is that only important to me?), but you still get the Little-Boy-Lost vibe, the endearing agitation, and the all-important sad puppy eyes.  The comic timing seems on point as well.  Nice job, American George.

On to our vampire:  BBC’s Mitchell is very sexy and he has a lot of dramatic work to do, fighting against  his addictive blood-lust while the local vamp community tries to drag him back down.  Can Syfy’s Aidan handle the pressure?  Helping him along is the younger (and hotter) Vampire King, Bishop, as opposed to BBC’s evil father figure type, Herrick.

Moving along to our ghost,  I’ll admit I’m not completely won over.  I’m not giving up on Sally completely, I just found her a little annoying.  I can’t decide what it is, which may mean that my Annie-loyalty is leaking into this post.  First,  and this may not be relevant, but I don’t like the bottom half of her outfit.  It is similar to Annie’s, but Sally’s version has short pants and ugly flat shoes.  I feel like they made her look frumpy instead of comfortably stylish.   Sally does show some of the innocent charm that is vital to the character, but I think it will take more than an episode for her to grow on me.   I will say that there is already some nice chemistry with vampire Aidan.

Having gotten the superficial stuff out of the way, all that’s left is the plot.  Fortunately, that was the best part.  I thought this would be silly for me.  I’m already through season 2 in the BBC version, and will therefore always know what’s going to happen.  Yet the Syfy version, while starting out with the same ingredients, is adding its own flavor to the mix.  There are new characters to watch out for and in fact the pilot ends on a cliffhanger that has a new character of interest already in grave danger.  You can bet I’ll be watching the next installation, regardless of my original intentions, if only to find out if said character survives.

After all, Sally deserves a chance to be judged on more than her outfit.  Josh may yet find a funny, higher pitch to his voice when he gets upset.  And Aidan…though I suspect I’ll still prefer the rugged version that is Mitchell, it’ll definitely be fun to see him go head to head with a different type of Vampire King.

I guess as far as the Syfy version is concerned, I’ll continue to give it a chance.  No matter what, a ghost, a werewolf, and a vamp shacking up together is still one hell of a premise.

The Untimely Demise of Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter

Let me begin by saying that the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series by Laurell K. Hamilton was once my ultimate, all-time favorite.  So much, that when the Southern Vampire Series was optioned for an HBO series (hello, True Blood), I remember feeling that Anita Blake had been overlooked.  I didn’t blame HBO, I blamed the author.

If you aren’t familiar with this series but you love vampire fiction, you really should try them and start at the beginning with Guilty Pleasures.  For the first 9 books, you’ll find truly exceptional plots starring a tough, wry heroine who raises zombies for a living and works for the police on the side, putting her firmly in between humanity and the monsters.  These books have everything; mystery, romance, drama, and of course, blood, guts, and all the scary beasts you can imagine.  Each book is better than the one before.

At least, until book 10, Narcissus in Chains.  Then it becomes porn.

Of course, if that’s what you’re into then that’s fine.  But these are very light on plot, with a quick turn for the heroine from a woman with a strict Christian background and sexual hangups to someone who has sex with almost every stranger who crosses her path.  Practically every scene is a sex scene, and that’s only part of the problem.  The first 9 books show Anita struggling with unwelcome feelings for the local vampire Master of the City and, after book 3 (Circus of the Damned, fantastic story), a powerful but troubled werewolf.  Don’t worry, nothing Twilight about it.  The sexual tension builds between them slowly, with a lot of feelings and inner turmoil involved.

Then in Narcissus in Chains, Anita is suddenly bestowed with a “power” that forces her to “feed off of sex”, whatever that means.  Off the bat, she has sex with a stranger and a previously abused, much younger, former male-prostitute named Nathaniel that she’d rescued in a previous novel, Burnt Offerings.  Beyond this novel she starts having sex with almost all the other powerful men that she knows and/or meets.  I know that characters in long-term series need room to grow and change, yet this new Anita is IMO completely incomparable with her previous self.

Even if you could look beyond the drastic character change, the plots have gone down the tubes.  The  police don’t trust the new Anita and her harem so there are no more crimes for her to solve, which had always been a big part of the original 9 stories.  Her regular job as a zombie raiser is forgotten  for the most part, for no real reason that I can see.  Most of the books deal with long distance “psychic attacks” from European monsters or Anita fighting off animals in her head, and the solution to and/or result of both problems usually involves Anita having sex with more friends and strangers.

So why do I keep reading them?  Because the first 9 books were so fantastic that I guess part of me is still waiting for the old Anita, the old Laurell K. Hamilton in fact, to resurface.  But you can bet I’ve stopped buying them; library or nothing for me.

All and all, I will always recommend this series, despite the eventual flatline. The replacements that I’ve found since can only pale in comparison with this series’ original potential.

All Time Favorite Ships

So aside from being a Fangirl, I can specify that I’m a Shipper.   If you didn’t already know, a Shipper is someone who fixates on a certain relationship or pairing in any fandom, whether intended by the creators of said fandom  or just imagined by the maniacal shipper.  So here are my current favorites, in no particular order, and the reasons behind them.

Romantic Relationships:

Doctor/Rose – Doctor Who (OTP!!!) – As mentioned in my first post, they are my current favorites.  Rose is a young woman with a boring dead-end life,  little money, a boyfriend she’s known forever, and no future prospects when she bravely leaves it all behind to be whisked off among stars, planets, past, and future by one badass alien.  That’s why when I say Doctor/Rose, it doesn’t just refer to the 9th or 10th Doctor, but the Doctor himself, in any incarnation after 9.  I know it couldn’t have worked out for them long term, I just believe that on some level they will always be in love.

Veronica/Logan (LoVe) – Veronica Mars (OTP) – This is another top favorite of mine, because the relationship wasn’t originally intended by the writers, and I never saw it coming since they started out the series as mortal enemies.  Their first kiss was epic on its own and the relationship took over the entire show for me from that point on.  All her other boyfriends couldn’t touch this guy, even if he was a little crazy.  Besides, save someone’s life 100x, you’re entitled to burn down a few community pools when you need to.

Buffy/Angel – BTVS (OTP) – They were best the first 3 seasons.  I almost forgot about them until YouTube reminded me, but Buffy and Angel were the reason I got into that show in the first place.   The relationship built slowly because it was hard for them to be together but they were always drawn to each other. Until he loses his soul and tortures her for a season.  After that, it didn’t matter who she met, she was always going to love Angel more.  Of course, since this is how I feel, I didn’t find any interest in the Cordy/Angel match or any other when he got his own spin-off.

Elena/Stefan – Vampire Diaries – Sorry Damon fans, he is an incredible character but if you’ve read the original trilogy you know that all Elena wanted from that first time she saw him was to be with Stefan.  The TV show might be different, but that could be why I don’t watch it.  I must have read that original trilogy a billion times and am loyal to that version.  I also don’ t know what happened with any books after the trilogy, because the reviews are poor and I’m told that Damon’s character is pretty much castrated.

Bella/Edward – Twilight Saga (OTP) – books & movies.  A lot of people have a problem with the new brand of vamps Stephanie Meyer invented, but I’m not worried about them sparkling in the sun.  This is a great love story, even if the first book dragged in parts.  I don’t really get the ‘Team Jacob’ point of view; in the books I mostly wanted to punch him.  Love him in the movies though.

Sookie/Bill – True Blood/Southern Vampire Series (OTP) – Both the TV series and the book for this pair, although True Blood has more passion because of the searing-hot chemistry between the actors.  Like Damon, Eric is such an awesome character and everybody likes a witty, bad-boy type, but how do you forget that first look Bill and Sookie shared in Merlottes, that went on forever??  The way I see it, they are so in love and would be perfect for each other, except events beyond their control continually pull them apart.  That doesn’t mean they aren’t meant for each other.

Robin/Barney (Swarkles) – How I Met Your Mother – I think they want similar things and I like all these little hints between them, even when she was supposed to be Ted’s great love.  I don’t actually mind that they broke up, although that wasn’t my favorite episode.  I mean the show is still going, they’re both pretty funny when they’re single, and when I’m shipping, sometimes its more fun watching and waiting for subtle hints and moments between them when they’re apart than actually watching them happy together.  I do feel like the writers will eventually reunite them, and I hope by then they can approach the idea in a unique way that suits the characters, instead of trying to make them fit the ‘ideal couple’ mold, the way that Marshall and Lily do.

Christina/Jesse – Point Pleasant – This is a show that not many people would remember, because only 8 episodes actually aired.  But she was the daughter of the devil and he was the lifeguard who saved her when she washed up on the shore.  She had dark powers and even a being from Hell in the form of Grant Show trying to get her to embrace her evil heritage, yet her love for Jesse (and the friends she makes) keeps her human.  The show is full of mystery and darkness, all the characters are constantly choosing between good and evil,  and nobody firmly belongs to one side or the other.  I ended up buying the DVD set just so I could at least find out how the season would have ended.

So these are the ships that I’ve been into for the past few years, but I’m always on the hunt for more.  If anybody knows of some pairings that I might be missing out on, I’d love to hear about them.  🙂

It Turns Out I’m a Fangirl…

I’m calling myself a Fangirl, but it’s a relatively new label for me.  Who knew there was an official term for a chick who obsesses over fictional fandoms?  Okay, maybe a lot of people but I never heard of it until about 2 years ago.

I’ve always been a neurotically nerdy fan, but I just thought it was my own brand of weirdness:  reading my favorite book series over and over, watching endless marathons of beloved TV series with every person I could convince, and dragging less-interested friends to see the latest dark-romantic movie that I needed to see in order to sleep at night.  But in 2009 I found the One True Pair to beat all OTP’s, and I was consumed on a whole new level.

It’s funny because I  should never have known they existed.  Somehow, despite a life-long aversion to anything involving space-and-or-time-travel, my roommate got me watching Russell T. Davies’ rebirth of the old British sci-fi series, Doctor Who.  The resulting mania for the Doctor and Rose Tyler would be too intense for old habits to soothe.  I needed more, so thank God for YouTube.

(Mind the spoilers; if you haven’t seen Doctor Who Season 1 & 2 to the end, I wouldn’t recommend watching this)

Video tributes soothe the savage (if dorky) beast.  But just like any junkie, the more I used the more I needed.  Next thing I knew I was resurrecting other fixations that I’d previously and reluctantly set aside.  It was obvious from these vidlets and the gushing comments beneath that there existed a whole community of others who are the same flavor of crazy that I am.  Those not only feeling the insanity but constantly seeking to indulge it.

So I guess that’s me; a Fangirl with a new outlet for the madness.  This is my first try:  a place to vent my varied fascinations in my own words for a change and maybe even discuss them with the like-minded.

It’s time to put the crazy where it actually belongs.  Always good to head off that intervention.