I recently re-watched Veronica Mars, seasons 1 and 2. Then I watched only the parts of season 3 that were pertinent to LoVe, because lets face it, the plot that season was pretty tiresome (oh, no, rapist on the loose, that’s so different except that it isn’t at all). With the relationship history now fresh in my mind, I realized I was disappointed in the way Veronica almost seems reluctant to love Logan back, especially in season 3. Did she ever even say the actual words, “I love you”, in any of those 3 seasons? I know he said it to her. It got me thinking that perhaps, although she certainly loved Logan more than Lily did, maybe she wished that she didn’t.
Here’s a heart-breaking scene between them from season 3 that illustrates the problem perfectly:
From his side, the scene shows his unwavering dedication to her and the depth of his love, and also how well he knows exactly how she thinks. Yet you can also see her frustration and a lot of reluctance.
Logan: I love you, Veronica. I love you. Do you love me?
Veronica: (pause) yeah…
It interests me because the same impulsive, violently protective instincts that allowed him to save her ass so many times were annoyingly inconvenient the few times she didn’t need saving. But you can’t have it both ways, right? He’s a human being; somehow his ultra-privileged, yet totally abusive upbringing created someone who is overflowing with a need to lash out, only eclipsed by his need to be loved. He has the confidence to step into any situation and is devil-may-care to the point of suicidal. And yes…the arrogance and self-destructive tendencies lead to many mistakes.
For instance, can I really blame her in that same season for not being able to get over him sleeping with Madison, the same girl who drugged her drink in season 1? Let me tell you how it works in real life. When the person you love most, who is supposed to love you most, whom you have trusted with your innermost self, cohorts for any reason or length of time with someone who has violated you in any way, it is as if they are helping that person to humiliate you further. Topping it off, you aren’t left with many options about what they could have been thinking. You can’t get past that they knew better, that they knew how you would feel and yet they could do it anyway. Their selfishness is overwhelming, and although you have the sense that due to how important the person is to your heart, you will have to find a way around this somehow, you also can’t fathom what that way might be. No, you have to get away from them. You just can’t be around that person at all.
This does not mean you stopped loving them. It doesn’t mean you can shut them out forever. No, true, real love is not so easily slain and that is not romanticism, that is a fact. False moves, no matter how hurtful, can’t undo the loving memories that came before. And sometimes the heart is stubbornly faithful. Plus, back to the context, Logan is the one who broke up with Veronica because it was tearing him up how often he disappointed her, how his love just wasn’t ever enough to make up for his volatile nature.
It never had been, or at least she’d never wanted it to be. From the beginning she’d always begged him to tone it down. She was afraid of his unpredictability, that barging into any situation guns (literally) blazing was going to get him killed someday, maybe while trying to protect her, making it her fault. She didn’t live by the same rules that he did, so she seemed afraid sometimes that he might drag her down with him. Yet just the same, there were things they’d both been through that couldn’t be forgotten. And how do you turn your back on somebody that loves you so intensely? I don’t think Logan would ever learn how to shut that off. Much as he could man-whore around like nobody’s business, or destroy things around him with ease when he felt like it, I think he’d grown up wanting to be able to protect someone the way he hadn’t been protected and to love someone as desperately as he’d wanted to be loved. Lily hadn’t loved him enough. I don’t know if even Veronica was capable of returning that intensity. Yet I don’t think she would’ve been able to permanently turn her back on it either.
It makes you wonder if Logan would have died young; his risky approach to life makes it probable. Maybe that would’ve been the only way for Veronica to be released and allowed to pursue a more mundane and easygoing relationship, such as the rest of us have. Like it or not, with him around she wasn’t going to find someone else; maybe he was hard to love but he’d be just as difficult to replace. Any feelings someone could have for her would always pale in comparison to Logan’s (poor Piz is a prime example—the guy Veronica thought she should be with). There wouldn’t be anyone who could know her so well. And you could see that even apart, he’d be the one to find her when she needed him.
Besides, finding another guy who would put up with her own dangerous tendencies would’ve been reasonably challenging anyway. Maybe she just hadn’t had a chance to find that out. Where else was she going to find someone as smart as she was and as brave? The White Knight is a dying breed these days. Who else could challenge her the way he did? And let’s face it, bad boys are always better in bed; he’d been bad for a very long time.
I think she would’ve kept finding her way back to him. I think all these reasons piled up against her so that she was drawn to him over and over, despite her best intentions. Swear Logan off like a drug, Veronica Mars, only to come face to face with the magnitude of his love and crumble before it.